Shoes
by Puzzlie's Imajinacion
Summary: Hiatus. Bebe finally agrees to go on a date with Clyde. Being head over heels with her, and not wanting to lose her, he wants to make sure this date goes perfect! So, nothing can go wrong... right? Clyde/Bebe, with some Bunny and Creek.


**Author's Note:** Welcome to another one of my South Park fics! This was supposed to be a double shot but due to my planning never going the way I want it to XD, it is classified as a multichap, although it'll probably be a triple shot, but I'm not making those promises anymore, lawl. Anyway, this fic is set in the same universe-type-thing as _Strange and Unpredictable_ and _Puppy Love_. (I still don't know if fics should be italicized or not...) This story also has - gasp! - _het_. Yes, ohmy. Apologies to people waiting for my other stories. The writing juice just hasn't been flowing right lately... but I try!****

Summary: Bebe _finally_ says yes to a date with Clyde. To make sure he doesn't lose her, he HAS to make sure this date is perfect. So, nothing could go wrong, right?****

Pairings: Clybe, with some Bunny and Creek on the side****

Warnings: Het! Oho. Also, slash. And swearing. But OMG SWEARING SOUTH PARK? SO UNHEARD OF.****

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. That would be nice though, don't you think? I mean, that'd be a lot of money. Hurray money! 8D

_Shoes_

**Chapter One: First Date**_  
_

"I just want to remind you: this will be a _one time_ thing. I will not go on another date with you afterwards. Understand?"

"Yes, I do… Unless I can convince you otherwise?"

"Fine. Unless you can convince me otherwise."

Clyde finally found his opportunity! _He_ was going on a date with one of the hottest girls in his class: _Bebe Stevens_. God was very generous sometimes, he had to admit. Very generous indeed.

He had everything set up for _the_ perfect date. Of course, it would be a casual, romantic dinner at a very fine restaurant, followed by a movie of her choice, and they would end with a sentimental walk across Stark's Pond. It'd be very romantic, to say the least. Bebe would definitely want to date him again. Ha! Hook, line, and sinker.

Although, he wasn't dating Bebe just because she was hot. He could have easily have dated Red, Heidi, or even Powder. They weren't that bad looking, after all. Some people think he was only going after Bebe because of her large bust size, considering it _was_ the biggest in their grade. Clyde actually laughed when someone had told him that. He hadn't even noticed. Not that he didn't notice her breasts, per se, but he just didn't notice they were the largest his class had to offer. No, Clyde didn't really care about the way she looked. In fact, to put it simply, he was head over heels for her.

Craig had told him once that if his eyes could turn into little hearts, they'd transform in a second. Clyde just laughed along with him, not really caring because he knew he'd one day win over the blonde. All of his friends told him it was a complete loss, but he was staying positive! Optimistic! No way was this going to end badly.

"So, shall I pick you up around six o'clock?" Clyde leaned back against the lockers as he spoke to Bebe. He did his best to look "cool," and he thought he pulled it off quite well.

"Oh, no. I'm going over to the shoe store first." She announced, placing her hands on her hips. Behind her, Red and Heidi giggled away. Clyde didn't even take notice in them as his mouth just dropped open in confusion. He shook his head quickly.

"Uh, why?" He asked dumbly, mentally kicking himself for losing his 'cool.'

"You're about to learn that Bebe Stevens is not cheap. I want those new shoes you were telling me about." She folded her arms and looked him square in the eye, bright red meeting light brown.

"I can't just give those shoes away! They're really expensive!" Clyde blurted out, staring at Bebe in disbelief. She just shrugged.

"No shoes, no date." She replied. "I could always reopen my schedule, Mr. Donovan." She smirked, watching the boy in front of her squirm in his shoes. She looked at the watch on her wrist, as if counting down the time he had left to answer her.

"Ahhh, fine. I'll get you the shoes." He pouted. She smiled triumphantly, turning to her friends.

"Good! I will meet you at the shoe store tonight then." The bell rang to signal the first class of the day. She and her friends trailed away, Clyde waving goodbye, although no one saw.

"Try to come at five! I have dinner reservations at six!" He called out, turning in the opposite direction to head to his first period. "I hope she heard me…" He muttered, followed by a quick sigh, "... better head to class then..."

Clyde entered into his first class of the day. He sighed, taking a seat in the far back where there weren't that many people. He should have known his mistake when he signed up for this class last year. The poor guy only thought of taking it for the possible chance he'd share it with Bebe. However, he was unlucky, and he became permanently stationed in this classroom he christened Pre-Hell. He called it thus because instead of preparing you for life, this class prepared you for Hell. Home Economics was not a class he ever looked forward to.

"I knew I should have taken shop," He grumbled, crossing his arms on his desk and burying his head within them. If he would have taken shop like every other sensible fucking guy, he would have had a damn class with Bebe. He knew so, Craig told him Bebe was in his shop class.

"Well, um, hiya, Clyde," A familiar voice squeaked. He looked to his right to see Butters, and behind him, Kenny. He waved nonchalantly as they took the seats next to him, Kenny giving him a fake salute in return.

"Did Bebe turn you down again?" Kenny smirked, leaning his chair back on its hind legs and placing his arms behind his head.

"Actually, no," Clyde sneered, smirking at Kenny who just dropped his own. "We're going on a date tonight."

"Wow, so Lady Luck finally found you," Kenny replied, rolling his eyes.

"Kenny, who, who's Lady Luck?" Butters asked nervously, staring up at him.

"Why, Butters, Lady Luck is _the_ sexiest woman out there." Kenny laughed, giving Butters a kiss on the forehead. "She's just a figure of speech." He told him the truth. "I do, however, picture her with a nice set of breasts." He grinned, snickering at his own comment. Butters blushed and rubbed his knuckles together nervously, holding back his own laughter.

Clyde stared at them in disbelief. "I don't get you guys." He told them. The pair blinked back their confusion.

"What do ya mean?" Kenny asked, wrapping his arm around Butters shoulders and pulling him close.

"You guys talk about boobs and breasts and chicks like you're straight, but… You know, you're obviously, um, not." He rubbed the back of his neck, really uncomfortable with the fact two gay guys were showering their affection for each other right in front of him. Kenny barked out a laugh, and Butters just smiled and bit his lip.

"Just because we're with each other doesn't mean we can't be bisexual. We love breasts! Don't we, Butterfly?" Kenny chuckled, giving his boyfriend an Eskimo kiss. Butters face turned even redder at the mention of his nickname and he continued to smash his knuckles together, as if that would help fight the pink spreading across his face. "And speaking of Bebe," Kenny announced, "Hers are fucking _nice._ Aren't they, Butters?"

"They, they sure are, Kenny," Butters nodded.

"Don't talk about Bebe like that," Clyde glared at them.

"Well, gosh, we're sorry, Clyde," Butters responded, looking down at his desk. Kenny rubbed the other's shoulder soothingly. Clyde sighed.

"Don't worry about it. I just… I really like Bebe, 'kay?" He gave them a serious look.

"Ah, so you don't want us talking about your woman?" Kenny fired back, trying to stop himself from cracking up. Clyde felt himself redden and shook his head.

"She's not my woman… yet," He said hesitantly, scratching idly at his cheek as he felt the heat from his own blush.

"Ah, yet," Kenny winked at Butters and smirked, "Poor Clyde isn't giving up."

"Aww, poor Clyde," Butters murmured.

"I'm not giving up 'cause I know I have a chance! Why doesn't anyone believe me?" Clyde whined.

"Well, second only to Cartman, you are the fattest kid in our grade." Kenny pointed out, smirking as Clyde's head snapped back up to glare at him. He looked like he was about to yell, but he took in a deep breath and turned his head back to the desk.

"I'm not fat." He said calmly.

"Ah, dammit. I heard you screamed like Cartman that one time, but I never was able to hear it," Kenny sighed, shaking his head, "Would have been a hilarious sight."

"Hardy-har-har," Clyde growled back, placing his head on his head, his elbow on the desk. "Besides, I was also voted number one in the class, remember?" He glanced back at Kenny.

"I heard from Stan and Kyle that list was a fake," Kenny pointed out.

"You mean I wasn't number eleven?" Butters pouted.

"Ah, Butterscotch," Kenny smiled, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek, "You'll always be number eleven in my book." He laughed, spreading the smile across Butters' face. "And number ten, and seven, and three, and one…" Kenny cooed while nuzzling his cheek with his nose. "You're every number on my list… and the _only_ number on my list."

"What do you mean the list was a fake?" Clyde interrupted with a demanding tone, confusion etching across his face.

"Oh, you don't know?" Kenny raised an eyebrow. Clyde continued to stare at him perplexed. "Well…" Before Kenny could finish, the teacher walked in, announcing the time for class to start.

"Well?" Clyde whispered urgently. Kenny, however, just raised a finger to his lips and ushered a silent "shh." Clyde sighed exasperatedly and turned his attention back to the teacher. Well, that's what it looked like anyway, but his _real_ focus was on the date that was only hours away…

Why does time seem so much slower when you're waiting for something?

* * *

The more time went on in Home Ec, the more Clyde became excited. Sure, he was a bit ornery that he had to hand over those really expensive shoes unbeknownst to his father, but that would sure make up for it if the date went well, which it _would_, God willing.

As the bell rang to signal the end of first period, Clyde's thoughts were interrupted. He had just been deciding whether or not to kiss Bebe on the first date. Because it would be un-gentleman-like of him if he did, but this also might be the only chance he had. He shook his head. It would be best to decide later tonight.

Entering math class, he sat down in his usual desk, waiting for the arrival of his friends Thomas and Craig. Craig would take the longest to get here, coming all the way from shop class, and Thomas should be here soon, coming from English.

"Ah, sweet," Clyde muttered as he stared at the board, "Review day." He rubbed his hands together and grinned, glancing as two girls, Heidi and Red, giving them both a wink. They erupted into giggles, making Clyde break out into a grin.

"SHIT!"

"Hey, Thomas." Clyde welcomed his friend who sat down in his usual desk, kitty corner to Clyde's own.

"Hey, Clyde," Thomas tried smiling but was embarrassed by his bout of Tourette's.

"Have fun in English?" Clyde questioned but received only an exhausted look back.

"… I don't want to talk about it," Thomas murmured, looking away. Only a few seconds later did Craig walk into the room, looking just tired as the Tourette's blond. The bell rang soon after, the whole class quiet, which was making Clyde twitch just a bit uncomfortably. Silence was boring, and when he was bored, he either wanted to go to sleep or pull out a playboy magazine. Neither which he would have minded doing at the moment, but both would probably get him into some sort of trouble. He didn't want to be in trouble on the night of his big date.

"COCK SHIT!"

Clyde was going to have to thank Thomas for that outburst sometime. He watched with a slowly widening smile as the aggravated teacher left the room, not wanting to deal with the Tourette's kid today. Time to tell the guys the good news!

"Dudes!" Clyde shouted, turning so sharply in his seat he was almost afraid he snapped something. Ignoring it, he gave them both a triumphant grin, then blinked and settled into his seat all relaxed like, giving them a sloppy smile. "Bebe and I are finally going on a date."

"Wow, she didn't turn you down?" Craig replied, his tone nothing but bored and disinterested. Clyde chose to ignore Craig's negative attitude, as he always seemed to do anyway.

"Nope!" He bellowed, his grin getting wider, more than likely along with his overinflated ego.

"SHIT, SHIT! That's great, Clyde!" Thomas congratulated half-enthusiastically because of his embarrassment due to his Tourette's.

"I know! I mean, I have to give her a free pair of shoes, but I think she just added that because we were near her friends. I'm pretty sure she's in to me," Clyde lied, knowing that Bebe was only in it for the shoes. Considering this, he felt like he was about to lose his cool, so he tried his best to return to the 'cool' attitude, giving out a cocky, "Yeah, I'm awesome." He smirked, glancing quickly over at Heidi and Red to see them giggling. His expression turned sour for almost a nanosecond, knowing who they were laughing at exactly, but shook it off. Sure, Bebe probably wasn't into him right now, but their date tonight would change all that.

* * *

The last bell of the day rang faster than Clyde thought it would, but much slower than he wanted. The rest of the day just seemed like a fucking blur to him, going from one class to the next. He never even paid attention to anything that was being said (and didn't do any work either, piling up a bunch of homework for him that he'd probably wouldn't get to for awhile). He felt as light as a feather, though, and the only thing that was running through his mind was the date tonight. The fateful date with Bebe Stevens, the date that could not, and would not, go wrong.

He left his class with his head held high, almost wanting to dance and sing all the way to his locker. He laughed, knowing that hasn't been cool since fourth grade, what with High School Musical and all its sequels' copies being burned when that Bridon kid went nuts in eighth grade, having had the last straw when he didn't get into the basketball team that year and was asked to be the star in the upcoming school musical, only to never be seen again. 'Heh, only in South Park,' Clyde thought to himself as he did his combination on his locker.

"Didja hear?" He heard people around him chatter, humming to himself as he opened the locker door, "Craig and Tweek made out in front of the whole class!" Clyde completely stopped everything he was doing, dropping all his books onto the ground beneath him, instead of neatly into the storage unit before him.

"WHAT?" Clyde turned around sharply, to come face to face with none other than Craig and Tweek themselves. Not expecting anyone right behind him, he jumped back, falling right into his open locker. "Shit, what… what?" Was all Clyde could find himself saying.

Craig offered a hand to him and helped him back up, a disgruntled look on his face as he stared at the bewilderment Clyde was adorning. Tweek was just twitching away by Craig's side, blushing from what Clyde guessed was embarrassment, and he seemed overly nervous about something. Oh God! They were going to confess to him.

"So, Clyde," Craig started, letting out a small laugh.

"I heard!" Clyde spluttered out, "A-And, fine, I'm okay with it," He chuckled uncomfortably, "Just… just no…"

"Jesus, Clyde, we're not going to make out with _you_," Craig grumbled. "Or in front of you." He added when Tweek gave him a look that Craig could only read.

"O… Okay…" Clyde gulped, "S-so… um… what?"

"You're losing your cool, Clyde," Craig smirked, knowing that would snap Clyde out of his stuttering.

"Huh…? Oh, right!" Clyde laughed, standing up straight and brushing himself off, kicking his books into his locker and shutting it with his foot. "So… How'd… um, this… happen?"

"H-he _kissed _me!" Tweek squeaked, pointing to Craig, but giving a very pleasant smile, despite how nervous it looked at the same time. Craig smirked and pulled him in close, placing his head on top of Tweek's.

"As if you didn't like it," Craig laughed, "You should have seen him, Clyde. He completely stopped twitching." Craig said, his voice dripping with endearment as he smiled down at Tweek.

Clyde found himself laughing, "Is that so? Well, I guess Craig is just your right type of anti-anxiety medicine, huh?"

"I… I guess so," Tweek admitted, and then buried his head into Craig's chest.

"Not so much," Craig laughed, "I _did_ kiss him in front of a whole audience after all." He laughed as Tweek hit him playfully.

Clyde laughed and looked down at his watch. "Well guys, I'm heading home! Gotta prepare for my big date tonight," He grinned again, throwing his jersey over his shoulder and walking away. "I'll IM you guys later and tell you all about it. That is… If I'm home early enough." He did a quick wink and point and left the school building.

"He's doomed," Craig sighed as Tweek nodded.

"We better call him tonight to make sure he's all right!" Tweek started saying, looking up at Craig with a terrified expression, "I mean, he finally got a date, b-but who KNOWS what could happen? He could get in a car crash – oh GOD! What if he gets in a car crash, Craig? Or-or what if Bebe's some monster in disguise, just ready to turn into her real form and bite down on Clyde's head and devour him alive when he's least suspecting?" Tweek grabbed Craig by his jacket and pulled him closer, "Oh GOD Craig, what if all the women in school are monsters disguised?" His left eye started twitching like crazy, but then Craig just gave him a small smile which helped him calm down.

"Tweek," Craig started, trying to hold down some snickering to Tweek's small freak out, "Do you want to follow Clyde on his date to make sure he'll be okay?" He wanted to see Clyde fall flat on his face anyway… maybe it would deflate his ego a bit.

"That way we _could_ make sure he's all right… But… Craig! What if he catches us? Then he'd think we're horrible friends, and then! He wouldn't want to be our friend anymore!" Tweek started going off again before being shut up by Craig's lips.

"Everything's gonna be fine," Craig said after they let go, smiling down at his twitchy blond.

"O-okay… I believe you…" Tweek smiled back, burying his head into Craig's chest again.

* * *

Clyde arrived home very soon, having sprinted his whole way there. No time to waste, he needed to make sure everything was ready for their date! Yes, everything had to be perfect. He already had an outfit picked out, a restaurant booked, and then money stowed away for just this occasion. Yes, everything was perfect.

Nothing could go wrong.

… Right?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hurray for random Bunny and Creek! Oh well, you guys loved it (or you better have! Haha, just kidding...). So I'm not sure when the second chapter of this is going to come out. But hopefully soon. God, I need to stop procrastinating... Oh, and sorry for the bits and pieces throughout this chapter that felt a bit contrived... I really hope the second chapter will be a lot better. Well, more to come! Hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading. :)

Chapter title came from First Date by Blink 182. :D

-PI


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